Conversion Critiques Creating Website Text That Works

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I will be trying out Videos for next week’s conversion critique. For this week however – we will go ahead with the old format.

Today we’re cracking down on two different sites at once… Bamboo sites to be specific. So grab your favorite panda and let’s get started!

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Today’s Focus: Front page sales content and how to make your text convert better

The purpose of the sales copy is to get the visitors to take action. (purchase, call, sign-up, etc)

Here’s our two sites.

Uh-oh. I’ll bet you can pick out the problems already.

1) The text on the first site is too small to make out. It practically looks like a legal disclaimer. They’d be better off having NO text than that tiny hard-to-see paragraph.

2) The other site almost has the right idea – “If you can dig a hole, you can grow bamboo” is a pretty good pitch… but then they have all that text to read. Yuck. Again, visuals and just a couple sentences would work great here.

Summary: Most front pages should be visual appealing with a couple key sentences that draw the readers to take an action.

Ways to make text on your website convert better:

  • The text should be large enough and easy to read
  • It should be preferably in Arial font (again, easy to read = better conversions)
  • It should be short and to the point
  • It should convey value to the reader (tell them benefits of taking the action)
  • Remember to show them exactly what to do! (buttons/click images help)

What would you change in the sites above to create a better chance of getting an order from a visitor? Tell us in the comments!

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